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The Busy Mom’s Guide to Reclaiming Your Hotness

woman running through the park with a strollerSo you have kids. I have four. Is this your excuse to not rock it and strut your stuff through PTA meetings and carpool?

Getting through baby and toddler-hood is, I will admit, no small feat. I felt like I was in survival mode for many of those years. But I wonder, if I had put myself and my health first back then, would it have still felt that way? Or would I have been giving myself the tools I needed to survive?

Would I have had more energy through quality food and exercise, and more calm reactions to sharpie on the wall through meditation and workout endorphins? It certainly gets me through these days of working motherhood.

If that doesn’t give you enough reason to take care of yourself, consider how you want your own children to grow up, because they will emulate you. Do you want them to eat crap and feel constantly run down? Do you want them to hate their own reflection?

Take care of yourself, and you’ll be teaching them how to do the same. Here’s how you can sculpt your body, eat quality food, and take care of your health and wellness in the midst of little people constantly needing you.

Hot Moms Exercise

Make exercise a priority, period. Don’t use your kids as an excuse not to move. Your kids are ALWAYS moving, right? Put their little hineys in the stroller and walk them; do a workout DVD or YouTube workout with them; take them to a park and play a game of tag; take them rollerskating; use them as weights and bench press them.

Most moms think that because they can’t get into a gym (no child care, no money) that they can’t work out. I haven’t been to a gym in over 4 years and I work out daily. Think outside the box and just get moving. Exercise is an investment with a huge return on energy for the rest of your day.

If you are a working mom, you can wake up 30 minutes earlier, exercise on your lunch break, or do a nighttime routine after the kids are in bed. Check out HIIT workouts - you can get a killer workout done in under 20 minutes.

Hot Moms Eat Quality Food

Here is where the magic happens. While exercise is important for energy and fat loss, healthy eating is the major key to having tons of energy, clear skin, and melting away the fat that hides your gorgeous muscle. Don’t go on a diet. This mentality is not sustainable and doesn’t treat the problem.

The problem is too much processed, shelf-life enhancing (and fat-enhancing) chemicals that are addicting and cheap. Invest in whole, quality foods — vegetables, fruits, lean organic meat, nuts, legumes, and whole grains. Drink tons of water. Cut out refined sugars and flours, sodas, sweetened beverages and diet drinks.

Read labels. If you wouldn’t have an ingredient in your kitchen, don’t buy the food. Eating this way becomes very simple with practice, and there will be no need to waste time counting calories or obsessing over food. This will be more than half your battle. Soon you will be glowing from the inside out, and that alone is sexy.

I’ve done the work for you here, with this 4 week meal plan complete with breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner ideas for every single day.

Hot Moms Practice Self-Confidence

Is there a bully in your head that verbally abuses you every chance it gets? Do you really have any desire to get hot when your thoughts are telling you that you aren’t worth it? This negativity will squash all of your efforts.

Catch the negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations. Replace “I can’t do this” with “I AM doing this”, “My body is so gross” with “my body is AMAZING, I created a HUMAN BEING with it!” (Seriously ladies, we don’t give ourselves enough credit.)

Beyonce? She’s a mom. Gwen Stefani? Mom. Madonna? Mom. Look in the mirror and just pretend like you have as much confidence as one of these women or someone you admire. Hold your head high, admire your body no matter what your previous judgments of it were. Practice this daily and before you know it, it will be your truth.

The reality is that even the most attractive people on earth quickly become unattractive when they aren’t confident in themselves. Confidence is a bazillion times sexier than a six pack or a tight butt, and is something EVERYONE is capable of having, right now.

Need more help? Here are 10 ways to build self-confidence and adore what you see in the mirror.

Hot Moms are Centered

Take care of your well-being by tending to your own needs and managing your stress. Go to yoga or practice in your living room, meditate for just a few minutes a day, practice deep breathing and relaxation techniques, get plenty of sleep, get yourself that pedicure or massage every so often, and wear your nicest clothes that make you feel good about yourself. The better you feel, the better mom, wife, and employee you will be.

Now put on your hottest outfit and go turn heads in your minivan!

Are you a mom? How do you stay hot? What do you struggle with the most in taking care of yourself?

  • http://www.facebook.com/brittany.burton.1840 Brittany Burton

    Or P!nk, her body is amazing! She is one hot mama. She’s my inspiration to work out.

  • http://www.coachcalorie.com/ Deanna Schober

    Good one!! I like Pink because she’s very open about her struggle with self-confidence. Nice to know we’re not alone!

  • Mimi.

    Loved the read. I must say am getting there.

    • http://www.coachcalorie.com/ Deanna Schober

      Thanks Mimi! Good for you, every little step counts!

  • julierosie

    I need some motivation! I lost all my baby weight four times after all of my sons, relatively easily with breastfeeding and exercise – but now they are grown I am in a terrible rut. I am now 50 *gulp* and about 3 stone overweight, with bad knees (one has been operated on, one is waiting) and I feel so fed up. Sadly I loathe swimming as my hair is coloured and it strips it, and my local baths are horrible. Can you make any suggestions? My knees are ruined due to hours and hours of step and horseriding which were both things that I loved to do. I really want to do something before I slide into old age and become totally invisible :(

    • http://www.coachcalorie.com/ Deanna Schober

      Hi Julie, I’d focus more on your diet and less on intense exercise..can you go on walks without pain? If so I’d stick to that and just concentrate on eating lots of whole foods, mostly plants like fruits and veggies, with lean meats, healthy fats, and legumes. My joint issues cleared up completely when I switched to mostly whole foods, I had a bum ankle and couldn’t exercise, lost 30 pounds just through diet and yoga only. You can do it! Good luck!

      • julierosie

        Thank you, I am certainly going to give it a go, I know my knees would be better if I can lose the weight which may enable me to exercise more.

  • Ritu

    Hi Deanna

    Any suggestions for a vegetarian mom with PCOS ? struggling to loose weight from last 8 years. I loose 5 pounds max and then I gain it all again.

  • Qirlee

    Great article. Thank you! I feel a little guilty whenever I take time for myself. I feel like in order to do it I have to take time away from my kids or my husband. It seems to be hardwired into my brain for some reason. I keep telling myself and them that when I have an hour a day for me , I will be better when I’m with you :)

    • http://www.coachcalorie.com/ Deanna Schober

      I’ve been a mom for 14 years now and it’s still a hard decision to make each day, but it gets easier :) Good luck!

  • http://www.facebook.com/lisa.jennett.wood Lisa Jennett Wood

    Excellent article Deanna, it has strong truths and humor…all of which I love! Like you, I think we as moms have every right to be hot and sexy. After losing my aunt to anorexia, my own issues with body types growing up (after emulating my mom), I have struggled and fought to not continue the cycle for my own children. All this led me to fall in love with health and wellness and it’s my mission to help as many women as possible look and feel better naturally.

  • Michelle

    Good read Deanna. Just had a big boy 19 weeks ago. My second. The first time around I was a lot kinder to myself and gave myself a year to get back to normal. For some reason this time I have been feeling the pressure to do it quick. For me the struggle is time, I’m studying so my down time actually mostly has to go to that, but your suggestions about getting active with the kids and mostly changing diet are totally great. Thanks for motivating me. I was going to wimp out of my work out DVD tonight, but I’m doning my exercise stuff right now!

    • http://www.coachcalorie.com/ Deanna Schober

      Yay Michelle! You’ll feel great. And yes, give yourself time, there is no race to a perfect body; just the daily goal of feeling great and healthy. xo

  • Stephanie

    Thank you for a great article. I’ve been surprised through my getting fit and weight loss journey that I receive a lot of positive feedback but also “why do you have to workout so often” etc. articles like this help me keep on track. Thanks!

    • http://www.coachcalorie.com/ Deanna Schober

      You’re welcome Stephanie! It’s strange when other people take our focus on health so personally, right?

  • Faith

    Hey, Great article! I will be sharing this with my fitness accountability group on Facebook. :)
    I’m a 26-year-old mom of 1 little boy so far…sadly, we lost our 2nd pregnancy @ just 5 weeks, in Dec.
    The thing I struggle with most in taking care of myself now is depression. It’s a constant war in my head because I’m always trying to over-come the depression & rationalize my thoughts. I know I’m further ahead than most people who struggle with this mental illness however its still hard for me to make myself eat healthier.

    Exercise-wise, I’m doing just fine.

  • http://www.coachcalorie.com/ Deanna Schober

    Faith, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Having also lost a pregnancy, I feel your pain, and understand your depression. I have dealt with depression too, even while exercising and eating a totally clean diet. Make sure you see a doctor if you’re unable to cope, sometimes it’s just unavoidable. Hugs!! xo

  • Rebekah

    Deanna – did you have any kind of separation of your abdominal muscles following pregnancy? I am 8 months postpartum from second son and am wondering if I need to take some action to rehab my 3 finger wide diastasis? Or will a clean diet and regular exercise eventually have my stomach flat again?

    • http://www.coachcalorie.com/ Deanna Schober

      Hey Rebekah, 14 years after my first child was born, I still have separation. I know that there is some rehab exercises that can be done, although I’ve just recently learned of them. Check this page for more info on Diastis Recti, the condition of abdominal separation. It has good info on what can be done without surgery!
      http://www.befitmom.com/abdominal_separation.html

      • Rebekah

        Is it possible to regain a relatively flat stomach without rehabbing the separation? Or do you think that would help flatten the tummy? I definitely DO NOT want to have surgery. My stomach is bunchy and flabby, but I have 15 lbs and about 7 percent body fat to lose, so that may take care of most of it?

        • http://www.coachcalorie.com/ Deanna Schober

          Rebekah, I’m sure everyone is different, but I was able to achieve defined abs through diet and exercise, although my belly “pooches” out a little from the muscle separation. It doesn’t bother me so I’ve never done anything about it. I also have some loose skin and stretch marks. But you can at least get rid of the fat and any fluid retention that makes it flabby.

  • Deidre White Man

    Thank you for the article! I have 3 girls between 12-6 and I work full time, so I am pressed for time on everything! I wouldn’t say I am fat but I am on the thick side and I plan on changing things around on what I eat and exercising a lot more to relieve stress. One thing that always catches up to me is emotional eating, I tend to go over board at night when my kids are asleep and I’m watching my shows so I can zone out and relax. Eating sweets brings me comfort, always has for some reason, do you have suggestions for this?

    • http://www.coachcalorie.com/ Deanna Schober

      I think lots of parents have issues with emotional eating, the stress of our schedules catches up with us by nighttime and it’s hard not to reach for comfort food. We do eat when the kids go to bed, but we try to make it healthy choices that we really enjoy. My husband likes frozen grapes, I like apples and natural peanut butter. Check out this article I wrote a while back on snacking strategies: http://www.coachcalorie.com/healthy-snacking-strategies/
      Thanks for commenting!

  • Rebekah

    Dear Faith, so sorry to hear of your loss. I am sure that it is difficult to be upbeat after such a terrible loss. I am a 27 year old mama of 2 and they are soooo precious! Just wanted to encourage you that eating clean and taking sugar and other processed white carbs out of your diet can help depression! I also recently learned through the documentary, “Food Matters, ” that a diet high in or supplemented with Niacin can help keep depression under control. Here’s a link to a mommy that tried it. Best wishes!

    http://www.scarymommy.com/message-board/index.php?p=/discussion/1809/vitamin-therapy-to-help-depression-/p1

  • Gina

    I am stay at-home, homeschooling mommy of 4 (ages 1-8). I had 9 pregnancies and 4 kids in 6 1/2 years. Needless to say, my body is a bit of a wreck. I started clean eating in October and exercise intensely 3 days a week. I have dropped 40 lbs and 3 sizes. All that said, I have seemed to have reached a plateau at 198 and still struggle with self-confidence. Any suggestions?

  • Yve

    Any views on Insanity??? How many cals is the minimum and maximum to eat if you want to go fr 203 to 170????! Need a lot of help. So depressed and discouraged right now.

    • http://www.coachcalorie.com/ Deanna Schober

      Hey Yve, I know it’s hard but you can do it. Read this article for figuring out calories, http://www.coachcalorie.com/how-many-calories/ and remember never to go under 1200 calories. Ive never done Insanity but I have clients who do and love it. Anything that gets you moving and is enjoyable to you, go for it!

  • Lisa

    Any tips on really nailing that leftover pooch? I gained about 27 lbs during my pregnancy and lost half of it within two weeks. It took me a long while to get the next 5-10 off and I am down to the last 5 (but my goal is 10 more). I am actually working through the “lose 10 lbs in a month” article on your site but I wondered if you had any pooch-specific tips. I should also mention that I’m also doing about 45 m of core strengthening for a back issue and that I am still nursing. My daughter is just about 15 months… Thanks in advance!!

  • http://www.coachcalorie.com/ Deanna Schober

    You might actually have diastis recti or “mommy tummy”… Separation of the ab wall through pregnancy. Do a google search and see if you have the symptoms. Otherwise, just a tight diet and maybe upping the intensity in your routine a little.