A lot of people are struggling to lose weight. They think “if I could just lose these 20/50/100 pounds my struggle would be over”.
No – it won’t.
Your weight loss struggle has very little to do with weight loss.
That’s right – losing weight doesn’t automatically end your struggle. That’s because your struggle isn’t a weight loss issue – it’s a psychological one.
The Struggle Isn’t Measured In Pounds You Need to Lose
Which of the following people is struggling the most:
Person 1: Needs to lose 100 pounds
Person 2: Needs to lose 50 pounds
Person 3: Needs to lose 10 pounds
Person 4: Doesn’t have any weight to lose at all
It’s a bit of a trick question because we really don’t know who is struggling the most. We don’t know what’s going on in their heads, which is where the real struggle takes place.
There are people who are 200lbs who love their bodies and are full of confidence and radiate happiness. They are peace with who they are.
And then there are people who are at 6% body fat who stare in the mirror day after day and find every possible imperfection that no one else even notices. Their struggle is as real and debilitating as anyone else’s.
We can’t just look at someone and know what they’re going through. The struggle isn’t measured externally in pounds you need to lose. It’s an internal struggle.
I spent a great deal of my life hiding in my own clothes. Most people would have loved to have my physique. But I was the one guy who hated it.
I stayed inside. I avoided friends. I didn’t go on beach vacations or hang by the pool even though I love those things.
There was even a time I purposely got a sunburn so that I had an excuse to keep my shirt on the next day at a pool party.
In my head I had a conflict – how I thought I should look didn’t match up with what I actually looked like.
How to End Your Weight Loss Struggle
What you think is a weight loss struggle is actually a psychological struggle that expresses itself through particular eating and exercise behaviors. To end it you need to treat the cause – not the effect. You need a shift in mindset and perspective. You need to take the focus off of weight loss.
First love and accept yourself unconditionally as you are right now at this very moment. Because if you don’t love and accept yourself, how do you expect others to love and accept you?
Let go of your perfectionist thinking. You aren’t perfect and never will be. People will love and accept you anyways.
Start measuring your self worth in ways that don’t involve the scale. Focus on your strengths. Reframe weaknesses as opportunities for personal growth. Don’t let them define you.
When you get your mindset into a healthy place you subconsciously create better eating and exercise habits. These habits align with your thoughts and your struggle ends.
The side effect is weight loss, but at that point you really don’t care. You were already at peace with yourself. Weight loss is just the cherry on top.
Focus On How Your Actions Make You Feel
Most of us eat a certain way or follow a particular workout because we’re trying to lose weight. We’re trying to control the outcome.
But the outcome isn’t always in our control. And when you try to control something that isn’t easily controlled, you create internal struggle.
Instead, be process oriented and focus on the instant gratification you get from eating whole foods and moving your body.
Focus on how good a healthy meal makes you feel. Focus on how exercise relieves your stress and anxiety.
This is the key to a lifetime of motivation. This mind/body connection is what will drive you to make good choices for the rest of your life.
When you do that, you lose weight.
When you do that and work on your perfectionist attitude, your black and white thinking, your need to control everything – you transform your self.
Weight loss is a surface level issue. We want transformation. And transformation starts in your mind.
Start working on yours.