Most people don’t like counting calories. At the very least, they would like to be able to reach their goals without having to do it.
The good news is you don’t have to count calories to lose weight or have a great physique. All it takes is consistently following the eating process laid out below.
Slow. Mindful. 80% Full.
That is going to be your eating approach. You eat slowly, mindfully, and stop at 80% full.
Eating slowly triggers you to be mindful, and being mindful helps you notice your hunger and stop eating before you overeat.
This process helps us turn inward to validate our hunger instead of relying on external cues like the clock, calorie calculators, or an empty plate to tell us when to start or stop eating.
It’s time to turn inward and start trusting yourself around food again. You possess the ability to eat an optimum amount of food for a healthy body composition.
But you have to stop delegating your food control to external cues/tools. And a great way to help raise your mindfulness and get you back in touch with your hunger cues is the hunger scale…
The concept is simple – you start eating when you’re hungry but not starving, and you stop eating when you’re satisfied but not full.
That means you eat when you’re at a 3 or a 4, and you stop when you’re at a 5 or a 6. If you do that consistently you will naturally gravitate to a healthy weight.
And the best part is this skill can be taken anywhere with you. Whether you’re on vacation, at a birthday party, at your family’s house for a holiday, in a business meeting, or out with friends for the weekend, you are armed with the tool necessary to enjoy yourself and maintain a healthy body weight.
You don’t need to pack food. You don’t need to seek out calorie info on menus. You don’t need to log your food while sitting at the dinner table.
You trust yourself. You eat mindfully. You enjoy your food. And you live your life.
To help you practice this process I created a free mindful eating worksheet you can print out and use. Just click here to download it. It’s a real eye-opener when you mindfully track your hunger for a day. Give it a try and see what I mean.
How to Determine Correct Portion Sizes
If you’re not going to be tracking calories then you need a system for practicing portion control. While the hunger scale will naturally help you stop eating at the right time, putting an optimal amount of food on your plate from the start will help you manage your food portions better.
This process if very simple and the measuring tool we’re going to be using is something that’s always available to you – your hand.
Protein
Open your hand and look at your palm. You should be eating 1-2 palm-sized portions of protein at each meal. Sources include:
- beef
- chicken
- fish
- pork
- eggs
- greek yogurt
- turkey
Fruit/Veggies
Make a fist. Try to eat one fist-sized portion of a fruit and veggie at each meal. Sources include:
- apples
- bananas
- berries
- melons
- broccoli
- cauliflower
- spinach
- asparagus
Starches
Eat a fist-sized portion of starch 1-3 times per day. Sources include:
- oats
- rice
- pasta
- beans
- corn
Healthy Fats
Put your thumbs together. Eat 1-2 thumb-sized portions of healthy fats a couple of times per day. Sources include:
- nuts
- seeds
- avocado
- olive oil
- cheese
If you base the majority of your meals around a lean protein, a fruit, and a veggie you’re going to do great, and the rest of your food will naturally fall into place when you’re also mindful of the hunger scale.
Follow the 80/20 Rule
Despite what you might have heard, you don’t have to be perfect with your diet to be healthy or lose weight. With my clients I follow a very basic approach to food selection:
- Make at least 80% of your diet come from whole food sources.
- Let the other 20% of your diet come from fun foods.
It doesn’t have to be in those perfect ratios. The point is to moderate your restriction and include some of the foods you enjoy on a frequent basis.
Doing so increases your satisfaction, lowers your cravings, improves your eating consistency, and keeps you adherent to your plan long enough to see the outcome (weight loss) influenced in your favor.
How to Reduce Calories and Make Adjustments
While most people who follow the process I laid out end up losing weight, there might be some who need to make further modifications to their overall food intake. Even if you do lose weight you might have to make an adjustment if weight loss slows or plateaus.
Since we aren’t counting calories, we need to influence our food quantity by implementing process-based behavioral strategies.
Here are some ideas to get you going…
Sit with your hunger longer & stop eating sooner
Instead of eating as soon as you’re hungry, try sitting with your hunger an extra 15-30 minutes to see if it makes a difference. The longer you go between meals the less time you’ll spend eating and the less food you’ll eat.
In addition, instead of stopping at 80% full, try 70% full and see if that negatively affects your satisfaction levels.
Add in more fruits and veggies
Fruits and veggies are nutrient dense and calorie sparse. That means when you add them into your diet you end up displacing more calorie dense foods.
I like this option as it helps you naturally eat less by adding in more food instead of trying to restrict by taking some away.
Sub in low fat options
There are a lot of neat food products out there that can help you lower your calorie intake without you feeling deprived. A couple of options are liquid egg whites and PB2 (powered peanut butter).
Essentially they strip out the fat content, which can save you hundreds of calories. However, food volume stays high so that your hunger isn’t impacted. You eat less and stay satisfied.
A few more ideas are…
- use a smaller plate to make your meal appear larger
- chew your food more and you’ll end up eating less [1]
- use spices instead of sauces
- add in more protein to increase thermogenesis and improve satiety
- measure your portions before eating (ie don’t eat straight from the bag/box)
- eat more meals at home
Be Patient – New Skills Take Practice
Mindful eating is a skill. Portion control is a skill.
Most of us were born eating this way but have slowly delegated this part of our life to external tools. This can be reversed. But it takes practice.
Too many people are quick to give up on it because they think they should get it right on the first try. They start eating and they don’t know what 80% feels like. They don’t know when to stop eating.
So they give up at the first signs of a struggle.
You will get better at mindful eating, but you have to practice it. It’s a skill. And like all skills, the more you practice them the better you get.
Eventually you’ll stop obsessing over food and calories. You’ll stop letting other people or electronic devices dictate your food choices. Food will stop controlling you.
So keep practicing. Eventually you’ll know the optimum amount of food to eat – an amount that makes you 100% satisfied, healthy, and energized in body and mind.
Hey Everyone,
Just wanted to let you know that if you need more help losing weight you can download my ebook The 10 Forgotten Rules of Weight Loss absolutely free.
You'll find out:
Click here to download your book
Any tips on the mindful eating part? Like what does it entail?
Hi Marissa, good question. I had planned to write a part 2 going into further detail, but generally speaking, mindful eating means paying attention and trying to get as much satisfaction from your food as possible.
That means no multitasking. It means noticing your food, its presentation, its taste, its temperature, its texture, its smell, etc.
It might seem like a lot of work at first, and it is, but as time goes on these things start happening more and more on autopilot. Ironically, at that point, mindfulness becomes a habit.
This is what I’m currently doing and it’s working great! As a long time calorie counter I can’t say that I didn’t find it useful, but it can also be harmful if abused.
Like you said…I’d rather not count calories for the rest of my life. and now I don’t have to!!
Glad it’s working for you, Ranel! Calorie counting has its use. I still use it at times both personally and with clients. But it’s a tool – usually a short-term one. When I use it with clients it’s for troubleshooting purposes or to get things going on the right track. Then we transition out of it.
That way we don’t become dependent on it and we learn to trust ourselves around food again.
This!! I’ve been doing the calorie counting thing for much too long, eating because an app tells me to. Initially, it helped to get me back on track, but now I’m just sort of stuck doing it because I hate to ruin my streak of days on it!! This post made me realize I’m not really enjoying it, and I’m so disconnected, eating a snack at 10 am because it’s time and not because I need it. I’m also not having success anymore either. Interestingly, my lower weights were pre calorie counting apps. Thanks for the wakeup! I’m going to get back to basics and trust myself.
Hi Becky, your situation is pretty typical. Clocks and calories are two cues people use to tell them when and how much to eat. Your hunger can do that too and is much more effective once in tune with your body.
I like to think of snacks as tools that are used, as needed, to get you to your next core meal. If you aren’t hungry, why have them? You have the right idea!
Oh, Tony~
I think I received this e-mail right when I needed it~
Struggling with an Eating Disorder makes mindful eating way harder than it already is, but here I am, trying to trust my body a little bit every single day.
The problem is, as you pointed out, that we tend to rush things. It’s a real challenge for me to even think about having a ‘normal breakfast’ (seriously, what the heck are those), and following guidelines from my dietitian. Luckily, she believes that I should take it easy, one step at a time, and not focus on quantity but quality.
Thank you for writing this post, it helps a lot ^-^
I think your dietitian is a smart person. The way I look at it is the more weight you have to lose or the more of a beginner you are, the more focusing on quality will be effective.
As you get leaner calorie counting becomes more effective, both for the precision, and because you already have a solid healthy lifestyle foundation in place to work from AND fall back to.
I like to see people trying for 80/20 – more than 80% whole foods and less than 20% fun foods over time, all while eating slowly, mindfully, and stopping at 80% full.
Tony, this makes so much sense. I didn’t fully get it until I read Jami’s articles on weight at An Oregon Cottage. Once I started cutting my meals and snacks in half, I realized not only did I feel full, but I don’t eat as much between meals either, or skip snacks all together. Good place to start with this abstract concept. We focus so hard on good foods/bad foods, what to eat when, protein vs fat vs carbs etc or x number of meals per day, that we totally tune out our mindfulness and just eat because we can. If you think this concept is hard or weird or hippie-ish or whatever, or dont want to think about measuing portion sizes, etc. I totally recommend cutting your usual servings in half, and then focus on how you feel after eating and thru your day. I now totally see where Tony is coming from, after trying this. Before, I was like Ummmm I don’t notice anything different lol.
Congrats, Brit! I think people would be surprised at how satisfied then can be from eating less. But you’ll never know unless you actually pay attention.
Plan out your meals. Use that meal plan as a guide. Then eat it mindfully. If you’re not hungry for it all, don’t eat it all. If you’re truly still hungry, then eat a little more.
As you start building a routine you can experiment a bit more by cutting a serving of something in half and seeing if you notice a difference in your hunger or your satisfaction. Or you can try to just leave a few bites on your plate and see if you even notice. I bet you don’t.
Keep up the good work!
Tony –
Mindful eating is definitely the key … I was so ‘programmed’ to eat in the morning, eat at noon, eat at supper time – JUST BECAUSE IT WAS TIME TO EAT !
After finally breaking that habit and adopting the Mindful eating – it is all falling in to place.
I do real good at work because you’re not supposed to eat at your desk, but when I am home it was a real eye opener. As you stated above, you get so engrossed in your daily tasks you grab something here and there and wow does it add up / because you are not conscious of what you are doing (too busy multi-tasking). So I had to teach myself that the kitchen was off limits except to go get a new bottle of water, and to only eat ‘when I am hungry’. Once you train yourself that way – it is second nature and you no longer think about it – it feels natural.
Hi Charlie! Very true. In a perfect world we’d eat when we’re hungry but not starving and stop when we’re satisfied but not full.
This isn’t always easy, especially for people who have structured work/lunch hours. However, you can always eat slowly, mindfully, and stop at 80% full. Do what you can with the situation that’s in front of you.
Glad you’ve had that mindset shift. Seems to be working out great for you. 😉
Great article Tony! Back in 2012 I had lost 90 lbs by counting calories and working out diligently then met my future husband got married and sadly have gained most of my weight back and I’m so angry at myself for doing so! But now I think to myself well I did it once I can do it again but every time I try and count calories again I lose interest real fast so I throw the towel in on my program, so thanks so much for this article to clear a pathway for me to a new improved mindset to finally get back on the right track to success to be a happier healthier me once again! 😀 Blessings…
Glad it helped, Debi. What I recommend is to envision what your lifestyle will look like in the future when you’re at your goal weight, happiness, health, etc.
Then start making the transition into that one new behavior change at a time.
Thanks for another great post and lots of great responses. I had an eating disorder on and off for 30 years and took a LONG time to trust my own hunger and fullness again.
One thing that really helps me is to make sure I drink liquids with my meals. This helps to slow me down and also to add a feeling of fullness. I make sure that I’m eating a bite and putting my fork down in between so I’m not focused on the next bite until I finish chewing and pick up my fork again.
Like you said, this takes time and effort and it’s worth it! I don’t have to think about it much anymore – it’s a practice that has made all the difference and takes all the compulsive energy out of my eating.
Hi Kimball, happy you’ve found something that works for you. I developed disordered eating patterns a long time ago when I got into the bodybuilding world and the obsessions over body, calories, and weight. It took a while to work through that. I’ve swung to the other extreme at times too. Eventually I’ve found that balance is key to any lifestyle and there is a purpose for everything.
Wishing you continued success.
This is a good guide when you are out and about and cannot weigh or measure food. As a general rule for myself, a serving size is NEVER as much as I WANT to eat.
It definitely helps when you’re eating out. That includes restaurants, vacations, business lunches, holidays, etc.
Im 56 tests old and in Good Health im only 5 feet tall and weigh 122 lbs . I work out 5 x week but I’m not toned like I would like
My arms and thighs look as if I did not work out . I want to get to 108 and then maybe try to 102 . I’m following WW program but maybe. I eat too much fruit and not enough protein . I’m a little frustrated
Hi Cecilia, it’s possible you’re not eating enough protein, or calories for that matter. But I’d be looking closer at your strength training program.
If you want to be toned you have to have muscle to tone up. That means using strength training in an effective manner.
About the fat, i was wondering which is better, olive oil or flaxseed oil since one is monounsaturated and the other is polyunsaturated? I heard they’re both good but im not sure
Flax oil contains essential fatty acids, so it has the benefit over olive oil in that regard. But you really can’t go wrong with either.
I don’t know if you are familiar with the 21 day fix but they are a set of colored containers that you can purchase and each container is a different color for a different food group. Depending on how many calories you need you follow a chart to see how many of each container you should eat from that food group. Do you feel this could be beneficial or what are your thoughts. Thanks in advance!
It sounds interesting. Anything that can help you learn about portion control is a good thing IMO.
There are also food portion plates you can buy so that you can just fill up the sections with the required protein, fruit, veggie, etc.
I’m learning that this is NOT a diet. I have 4 kids, I’m at 152 and my goal is to be 135. I was a 6 before I had kids. My thought process is that I am doing my best to decide between good calories and bad calories. I’m eating at 1200 calories per day. I keep track and we eat at home. Example the other day, we had hamburgers and fries..I needed/wanted to get the rest of my 1200 and only needed a few more. I had some sliced fresh pineapple at the table, I chose to eat those 58 calories each to reach the 1200 instead of eating the fries. Is this a good process to do? I have lost, but then I lost my ambition last night. Pizza is my weakness and it was homemade, I ate 3 instead of 1 and gained 2 lbs. Instead of tracking raw foods, like fruits and veggies. Can I just count them if they are cooked instead? Can I eat as much fresh fruit as I want or do I still need to portion size that also and still count the calorie? Plus I’m starting a zumba class tomorrow I’m hoping this will help the process to lose faster and exercise.
Hi Cathy, try not to think of food as good or bad. Instead, work towards eating the majority of your calories from whole foods and then if some come from fun foods it’s just fine.
The key is to still eat slow, mindful, and stop at 80% full regardless of what you’re eating.
I will say that you didn’t gain 2lbs of fat from an extra 2 slices of pizza. That is likely just 500-700 calories more, which is just a fraction of a pound. The rest of the weight is just water retention that will come off after a few days of eating consistency.
As for whether to count fruit – yes, I would. Fruit still has calories. However, there’s nothing wrong with just eating it unlimited and seeing what happens.
It’s possible you won’t eat as much as you think and you won’t have to create a mental restriction.
Excellent post as always Tony. The only thing I would add is keep healthy snacks close by. It makes you a lot less likely to go grab an unhealthy snack if you’ve got some fruit or nuts on hand.
Tom
Nice addition, Tom. I agree. Having healthy food available is a great environmental modification for influencing healthy eating.
Just can’t do it. I’m broken. But I love the control and precision of counting calories. When I get away from it, I gain slowly but surely. So for me, its a food diary forever and that’s ok with phone apps!
Some people do better counting calories. But I wouldn’t give up on the goal of intuitive eating. It’s the end game.
You might be OK with it right now, but talk to me after another 50 years of doing it. 😉
It doesn’t have to be one or the other either. Count calories while you practice the hunger scale. Plan out your meals based on the calories you plan to eat and then eat your meals mindfully using the hunger scale.
If you eat less because you’re satisfied, consider it a win. Keep practicing.
I have been counting since I was 10. I am 50 now. The hunger is real though under control somewhat with watching the macros. If I ate based on hunger and satisfaction, I would be in very big trouble. I eat 6 times a day, virtually the same thing for breakfast, lunch and snacks and some variety to dinner. Years of trial and error to find some sense of balance without feeling like I am starving. I am insulin resistant and I have reactive hypoglycemia. Sugar is poison to me and makes everything far worse. So I eat none and have very limited fruit for the same reason. What I wouldn’t do to turn off the hunger.
You very well might be “in trouble” without counting calories – at first.
You’ve been delegating your hunger to external tools for 40 years. It takes time to rebuild trust around food.
But you do have the potential to eat an optimum amount of food to maintain a healthy weight. I can assure you that.
Will there be growing pains? Of course! Rebuilding trust takes time. There’s a learning curve with new skills.
But it’s worth it in the end.
How to overcome binge eating disorder?
also how to manage a crazy sweet tooth
Hi Sana, your question requires a much larger response than what a comment allows.
But other than the mental aspects of binge eating you want to make sure you aren’t over restricting both the quantity and the quality of your food. Bingeing is typically the side effect of too much restriction.
Hello Tony! You have done a great job in creating awareness through this article about the correct eating habits. I didn’t know about the hunger scale previously, but going through the article I got to learn many amazing things about losing weight. I absolutely agree with the fact that one can lose weight by having a healthy diet without counting the calories he has eaten. Along with this, I also would like to add that to fasten the process people must also combine the recommended diet plan suggested here with some workouts. This will work wonders & in a couple of months one can have a great body, which will earn you admiration from your friends & family. Around 1 year ago, I was not that much concerned about my eating habit and body weight. But, when I reached 187 pounds, I started taking care of my body. Because of my busy work schedule, I purchased one power tower and started working out in my home and controlled my eating too. Now my weight is 160 pounds and I’m happy with my success 🙂 I must say here that when you have one workout machine in your home, it helps a lot, like you can workout any time. And, if that machine is a power tower, then you can do variety of exercises.
Glad you found something that works for you, Baily. Keep up the good work. 🙂